Why the Dutch should rule the world...

Well, let me start by explaining that I am a great fan of the Netherlands. I figured that it might be time to do a post on why I love the Dutch so very much.

Next week is Koninginnedag, on April 30th. It's Queen's Day, a national holiday.

I thought I might use that opportunity to celebrate why the Dutch are so exceptional, and their country so fascinating to me.

To show you how very logical and practical the Dutch really are, the Queen Beatrix's birthday is actually January 31st. April 30th was Queen Juliana's birthday - her predecessor. Since the weather in the Netherland's is typically not great for a holiday at that time - they just kept it in springtime.

How can you not admire a Royal family that looks the other way, and gives everyone a nice spring day off ?

Queen's Day is celebrated in a rather interesting fashion. Open stands are set up, much like our flea markets here in North America, and those are not typically tolerated without a lot of paperwork during the rest of the year.

On Queen's day, it's time to go and sell your second hand treasures to other Dutchies. I actually think that's a rather wonderful, and typically Dutch, way to celebrate a monarch's birthday.

You also see a lot of orange around, the colour of the Dutch Royal family - the House of Orange. You get orange flags, foods, drinks, and the occasional orange fountain...and some orange painted Dutchies.

The entire day is a good excuse to go out and party - and get a good deal on something.

If you click the link above, you will hear a vocal version of the Dutch anthem - "The Wilhelmus". It's a very old melody, dating back to before 1572. Nobody's even sure who wrote it. The Dutch decided to use it as their anthem in 1932.

It's got 15 eight-line verses (the first and sixth verses make up the official anthem). I think anyone that can sing the entire thing, without a mistake, should be awarded Dutch citizenship on the spot. It's one of the few anthems I know of that changes it's time signature, just to keep you on your toes even more.

If you ever get the chance, I suggest you watch a football (soccer) game when the Dutch play. You'll know which ones are the Dutch fans, they will be the ones dressed in orange, rabidly rooting for their team against any and all others. In an important soccer match, the game is watched with a national passion. A win causes a celebration like a war being won, and a loss results in a national case of depression.

Like Canadians, the Dutch are typically not that openly patriotic - unless sports are involved. Then they go insane... That makes me feel strangely at home with them, because we are the same way here with our hockey teams.

The Dutch language is music to my ears. I have a good friend in St. Maarten's who is teaching me dutch on Skype...or at least trying to. I'm hoping to travel to the Netherlands next year, budget permitting. Thanks to my friends Sigi's incredible patience (she's a teacher,btw), and ability to listen to me massacre Dutch horribly, I've learned a little Dutch. Very little... That's not her fault, it's mine.

She is an angel.

As long as anyone in the Netherlands wants to know my age, and is willing to accept that I am ten years old - I am perfectly capable of telling them that. Let's just say it's going to take a bit of work. I do have this feeling that any Dutchie I speak with while there will instantly switch to English...and beg me to stop speaking what I think is Dutch.

Here is a Dutch radio station you can listen to, if you'd like to hear spoken Dutch.

www.wereldomroep.nl/luisterlive/luisterlive_nederlands

Right now, there seems to be a soccer game on, based on the singing crowds,drumming, enthusiastic comments, and cheering.

Either that, or they have just declared war on someone...

I took German in college, and it always sounded very harsh to my ear. When I hear Dutch, especially spoken by a female, it sounds to me like a very musical German spoken by someone from Liverpool, England.

You know how to get a Dutchie really angry ?

Read them that last sentence...and then start running.

Now, onto to Dutch food. This is why I think the Dutch should rule the world. Have you ever even heard of Dutch food ?

See ?

It's incredibly good. On a culinary level, it's like a stealth fighter. The Dutch walk around surrounded by all those amazing things to eat - and shrug their shoulders and say " So ? "

Actually, they would say " Zo ?", since they are Dutch.

Had they concentrated on their food, instead of tulips, they would make Bill Gates look poor. Dutch food factories would be all over the planet, and working around the clock to supply the demand.

Just one example. They have this magical delicacy called stroopwaffels.


My l'il sis Ely introduced me, in much the same way a crack dealer introduces a new customer, to stroopwafels when she sent me some. I remember opening the box, and looking down at these perfectly round waffles, and then opening the bag up.

I think they make them with heroin. These things are about as addictive. Imagine the perfect mix of a crisp waffel and syrup. That's nowhere near close to what a stroopwafel tastes like. The first time I tasted one, I think I know what heaven must feel like. I can get some Canadian ones, but that's like getting a Ferrari made in China...it's not quite the same.

Even better, there is only one store in Montreal that sells them, and they used to be in my neighborhood.

Then, just before I discovered them, they moved to the farthest part of the island of Montreal.

If Tim Horton's (Canada's leading doughnut chain)was ever bright enough to put stroopwaffels on their menu, millions would get made. One part of me secretly dreams of getting the Dutch government to send me a stroopwaffel cart, and a study supply of product. I'm pretty sure I could reduce any Dutch deficit rather quickly, and then be able to retire at a young age - if only I could avoid eating all the stroopwaffels.

I highly recommend you track some down and try them.

They even serve broken stroopwafels, in plastic bags. As I said, the Dutch are truly god's. Let no stroopwafel be wasted.

They also have drop , a licorice candy that is quite tasty. It comes in many flavours, and styles. It's made with real licorice, and it's nothing like the "licorice" we are used to in North America. They even have some cold medicines made with it.

Oh...still need more proof ? You know those chocolate sprinkles we in North America sometimes decorate cakes with ? Now, imagine those made with very high quality European chocolate. Now imagine sprinkling that on some fresh warm bread, over some melted butter.

The Dutch call that Hagelslag... that's considered breakfast... Only the Dutch could make something that sinfully delicious a way to start ones day...and then give it a name that sounds like a Jim Henson character.

They also have Erwtensoep, or snert. That's a rich pea soup made with pork and sausage. It's actually far more like a stew, and one way of defining a good one according to the Dutch is when the spoon stands up by itself in it. They eat this typically with rye bread, and mustard or butter, in winter. I've tasted a canned version, and it has a rich smokey flavour that will haunt you like a Stephen King novel.

They also have Zaansemosterd , which is a mustard that makes Dijon mustard look like a three year old child standing beside an NBA player.

When I first received some, being a fan of hot mustards, I made myself a sandwich, and generously spread on a nice amount of it. The second I bit into it, actually a micro-second, my sinus chambers instantly cleared up, and tears started to flow. It's exceptionally good, and exceptionally strong. The Dutch even make a cream soup with it, called mosterdsoep.

The silly thing ? The rest of the world thinks of the Netherlands as a place with windmills, gouda cheese, tulips and wooden shoes. Meanwhile, the real treasures are kept as secret as anything found in Area 51. The Dutch simply walk around clueless as to all of it, and assume that it's all normal and nothing very special.

I could go on and on about the Dutch, and how much I have come to love their country, and their people. I'm lucky to have a few Dutchies as friends, and they are among my closest ones.

During WW2, they treated Canadian troops there with incredible kindness. Sometimes starving families brought out food to troops in the field, even though they had almost none themselves - and were in danger of getting killed doing it.

Every Canadian I have ever talked to that has visited there has been welcomed warmly, and treated kindly. We have a bond between our two nations born in blood. That bond will last forever, and I cannot think of a better people to share it with.

I'd like to thank all my Dutch friends, and to wish them all the best with their Koninginnedag celebration. I trust at least one of them will have a stroopwaffel, and think of me while doing so.

I'd be honoured.

Vriendschap - that's friendship in Dutch, and that's how I feel when I think of the Dutchies I have come to know and respect so much.

Ely, thanks again for allowing me to be your big bro, and for introducing me to the magic that is the Netherlands.

Tot ziens, and Dank u wel, Nederlanders.