Confessions of a hopeless romantic ( personal story)

Since my divorce, I have dated more than I had in my entire previous life. Before my divorce, I would occasionally run across a woman and the first date would extend into a relationship that lasted as little as three months - or as long as seventeen years.

Flirting was something I never really "got" , and I would typically be the guy in the corner that would see a woman and think " What could she ever see in me ? " I would sometimes look in the mirror, and just see the " Elephant Man " staring right back at me.

After my divorce, for some strange reason, all that changed. Within one month, I was already dating. Shopping for clothes ( something I always despised doing ) suddenly became a pleasure. I suddenly "got" flirting, and became quite good at it.

Two women stand out, so far, in this period in my life.

Let me tell you about one of them.

"C." was a woman I had talked to often at work. She would call in every night, and we looked forward to our chats as we did what we had to do. She had the most incredible voice I have ever heard, a voice filled with tenderness and intelligence. When she laughed, that laugh was as innocent and pure as that of a child. She would call in , and ask for me, and no matter how busy I was, I would always take that call with a smile - and spend the next five minutes happy and relaxed.

One night, we had some free time to chat. We began to compare notes. We found out that we had the same birthday, were the same height, had the same hair colour. We both found that quite hilarious. By the way the conversation was going, I knew she felt the same way I did about our relationship.

We hung up our phones, and about fifteen minutes later she called back. She asked if we could talk. I gave her my cell number without hesitation. Five minutes later, it rang...

We talked for a long while, and we decided to exchange photos over the Internet. We took each others e-mail address, and promised to communicate with each other in the morning.

I sent off my photo, and a little note. About an hour later, or so, she phoned me.

She warned me that she only had one photo - and it wasn't a very good one. She made me promise to call her before opening it, and was nervous. I gave her my solemn promise , and waited for the notification that she had sent it to arrive.

I might add here that she was a military policeman. That caused me some concern, as most of the ones I had seen were not typically my type. Knowing her personality and intelligence, I was willing to make some exceptions.

I got the notification, and picked up my cell phone and dialed her number.

She was really nervous, and I told her not to be. I told her how special she was to me, and that I wasn't exactly Brad Pitt either. She told me to go ahead and look at the attachment, and reminded me again that her father had taken it at a Christmas party and that it was really a bad photo.

I clicked on it, and her photo appeared on my monitor.

I nearly fell off my chair.

I was speechless...

As her nervous voice started to apologize, I found myself staring at this beautiful young woman sitting on a sofa. Her long blond curly hair was pinned up, minimal make up - and she still resembled Claudia Schiffer.

The only thing I could say was " T'es belle comme un coeur." For those of you that don't speak French, that simply means " You're quite beautiful."

We decided to go out that week, and see how it would go. I left my apartment, and went to meet her. We called each other on our cells, and I started to walk to the place we had decided to meet at.

I was about a block away, when I first saw her getting out of her car. She was dressed in a denim miniskirt, flat shoes, and a simple blouse, her curly blond hair effortlessly piled up with some clips, and those " Tina Fey" type glasses.

I HATE those glasses, but suddenly...

Standing a foot away, I was staring at one of the most beautiful women I have ever had the pleasure to go on a date with. The fact that her intelligence and personality were equal to that beauty was stunning. Few women I have ever met have matched her in all of those. While some women spend hours trying to look beautiful, she just threw things together with little effort - and still looked like a fashion model.

The worst part, the part that I just melted over, was this :

She was totally clueless to how beautiful she was, and that was no act.

As we started walking to get a pizza together, I started to see these reactions from the men walking by. It was pretty much the same, and occurred about a dozen or so times as we took our short walk to the restaurant on that warm August night.

A look at her. A look at me. Another look at her. Then just this look of just complete confusion. She was, again, clueless to what was happening around us.

After about the sixth time, I grabbed her hand and pulled her close to me. I whispered in her ear " Just watch the reaction when the next guy passes..." .

She began to notice it too, and we both started to laugh at it. By the time we reached the restaurant, we were both in hysterics.

We had a great time together, but there was one only one problem that I had. She was twenty-nine, and I was forty-seven. I realized, sadly, that when she was my age - I would be in an urn on some shelf somewhere.

People tell me it's a sin
To know and feel too much within.
I still believe she was my twin, but I lost the ring.
She was born in spring, but I was born too late
Blame it on a simple twist of fate.

- Bob Dylan " Simple Twist Of Fate"

Copyright © 1974 Ram's Horn Music

I walked away from that relationship soon afterwards, and it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. I hope that life rewards her with all the love and success she so richly deserves to have. She is going to make some lucky guy a wonderful wife.

" C. , Thanks for sharing your life with me for that short while. Thanks for making me a better person. Thanks for being what a woman should be to a man. Thanks for simply being you...

T'es belle comme un coeur."